Live is made up of different stages and phases where we meet people with different natures and characters. And as we move on meeting people there is one unavoidable truth, you will be offended but that is not the focus for now. The questions I want to ask you are; are you waiting to be offended or you waiting to forgive? These are vital questions we should ask ourselves as we wake from our bed each day and embark on our daily activities.
It is obvious that, we have our likes and dislikes as individual human beings. It is therefore almost impossibility for you not to be offended on a daily basis especially when you are the outgoing type or someone whose job description involves dealing with people. In as much as we are faced with different individual challenges and selfish intensions. Even while at home it happens when the husband wants to watch a football match and the wife wants to watch a movie or her favorite weekly program while at the same time the children want to watch their favorite, Tom and Jerry. In such cases we play our politics well and at the end of the day they are able to reach a compromise and no one is hurt. And that is the same attitude and mind set we ought to apply in dealing with people.
As a member of a team you have people with different ideology so the possibility of been offended is very high. But you won’t say because you were offended by a team member you’ll stop being a member of that team, you’ll be doing more harm than progress to your promising career.
So in as much as it impossible for you not to be offended then I suggest to you that the best thing for to do is, “always be ready to forgive” don’t wait for you to be offended instead be ready to forgive in other words, always be on the alert, waiting to forgive someone that will offend you.
Your ability to forgive your offenders has a lot of advantages and I will share a few of them with you briefly and I hope you’ll put them in mind. One of the benefits of forgiving others is that it is a sign of maturity; your ability to forgive your offender shows that you are a matured person and people will often respect you for that. Another benefit of being able to forgive is that gives you peace of mind, your mind is often at peace when you have no hurt against anyone in your heart and you are able to do whatever it is that you want to do with a free mind and at a better level of concentration. Your ability to forgive also helps your growth and your facial expression.
Another important benefit (which can be derived from forgiveness) I’ll like to share with you is FOCUS; forgiveness has a way of helping your ability to focus. For instance when you have hurt or unforgiveness in your heart, it makes it difficult for you to concentrate (Complete attention; intense mental effort) your mind on a task that is ahead of you. Anytime and every time you remember that someone has hurt you it tells on your concentration thereby affecting your pace on that particular task or assignment you have in hand. So it is my believe and advice that you let go of that hurt you are holding against your offender he’s just a brother or sister from another mother so let go so that you can focus better. It could even be the reason why you have not being productive enough in your place of work, everyone knows what you are capable of doing but all of a sudden your productivity level has nosedived. Friend, just give it a try and see how your productivity level reacts with the help of your focus on that job.
At this point let me share a personal experience with you. This happened to me to the end of my last year in university. It was a very crucial stage of my life, I was in my final year in the university and it was as if I was the target of people who needed someone to hurt or offend, first it was the issue of my final project, that was not moving at the pace I wanted it to due to my supervisor’s busy schedule and this really affected me to the extent that I fell ill at a particular time and as if that wasn’t enough there came the class project brouhaha.
I felt it was a good idea that we part with fun memories of one another in heart and look back with fun in five, ten and twenty years the good ending memory we had together would still be fresh in our memories then and would be pleasant to remember. We (committee) came up with the idea of having a final year package that will include; t-shirt, year book and CD then cap it up with a diner/award night. So people who we interested contributed and afterwards the committee in charge went ahead with the awarding of contracts to the various clients. Unfortunately along the line there was a bridge of contract by one of the parties we awarded the contract to. The production of the t-shirt was below standard and far from what we agreed and the consequence was insults that were inevitable because a lot were already waiting for us to make mistakes, this really hurt my feeling and I began to regret bringing up the idea and even being a front-runner. And for weeks this affected me and I was emotionally down and was unable to focus on the important and vital things, my academics and others. To study became a challenge and even to embark on important issue. This is what hurt can do to you, it will reduce your effectiveness.
Hurt not dealt with is capable of affecting your relationship with your loved ones. It is advisable that you should never allow any offence get at you or else it will cause you more harm than good. When I had that unfriendly experience with some of my course mates it affected my relationship with other people even those at home (my family members). It became very difficult to relate with people at home due to the insults that I’ve allowed to get at me as a result of the flop that came up in school as a result of the substandard T-shirt that was produced. During this period I was easily upset by little things and even a friend became a victim of my immaturity during this time but thank God, we settled our disagreement almost immediately and we shook hands thereafter.
Forgiving your offenders also contributes a great deal to your happiness. The more the hurt you carry in your heart the more unhappy you are and the more forgiving you are the more happy you are also. Most of those you see as happy people are not happy because they have not been offended but, because they have been able to forgive their offenders and move on with their lives. Unforgiveness will affect your happiness and always reduce your level of productivity so please deal with it before it deals with you.
Your ability to forgive your offenders shows beyond doubt that you are a matured person and people will get to respect you for having such an attribute. It must be learnt and consciously developed and worked upon, to grow and, just like we go to school to learn we also have to learn how to forgive as we grow. There is no school that teaches forgiveness but you have to learn it and the only way to show that you’ve learnt it is by living it. Forgiving those who offend you is an attribute of matured beings and will bring you respect and joy.
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