What is the Definition of Your Tears?

I know the title of this write up sounds strange and even extremely weird to some people, but don’t blame me. It is a thought that metamorphosis into a question which eventually gave birth to this strangely titled write up. I’ve had situations where shedding tears was the” only way out”, the only way I could express my feeling at such time. I believe that at one time or the other you have had one reason or the other to shed tears or weep as a result of one situation that you are faced with at that particular time. Whatever word you choose (shed tears, cry or weep), it all boils down to the fact that live is not all about laughing or smiling (having fun). You have times when you have shed tears probably because you were overwhelmed by emotion unknowingly or knowingly (which could be pleasant or unpleasant to you).
One of such occasions, where and when you see people shed tears is a burial ceremony or when someone dies. In such situation you often see people both old and young regardless of the gender (male or female) shedding tears uncontrollably. It is however important to state at this point that there are certain advantages associated with the shedding of tears. I would love to share a few of the ’advantages’ associated with the shedding of tears as I proceed.
Emotional Relief: Tears have a way of bringing emotional relieve to the person in question, it helps to express feelings you can’t explain in words hence, the best and suitable way of expressing ones emotion or feeling at such moment is by shedding tears. So when you see people shedding tears know that they haven’t been able to find the suitable grammatical construction (words) at such time to express their or feelings. And burial is just a good example to buttress this view.
However, it is not only at funeral or burial ceremony that you see people shed tears. Someone could also shed tears when he or she experiences disappointment, maybe the person just received a sack letter and he or she is shocked as a result of the sack. When what appears to be the source of livelihood suddenly disappears into the thin air. At the reading of such letter the person’s reaction could be tears rolling down the chicks. Then different thoughts and questions begin to travel through the person’s mind, questions like; “what have I done to deserve this, where do I start from, why me? “And so on.
Moreover, tears are not just meant for sad or unhappy and unpleasant moments. Someone could be shedding tears because he or she is overwhelmed with joy and this is what is often called “the tears of joy”. Take for example someone who was sacked for no just reason and for about 20 years was struggling to keep his family together then suddenly after about 20 years, on a Monday morning while thinking on how to go about the struggle for the week, while still sitting in his expired bed in a one room apartment suddenly, his half-dead phone rings and he reluctantly picked and answered the called and the following words came out of his helpless phone,”…you have been recalled and you are you are to resume immediately and will be receiving all your salaries for the past 20 years apart from your compensation , for been unduly sacked this runs to about 10million dollars…” then after that while still trying to accept it as the truth, a mail deliverer knocks and he opens the door for him, a mail was delivered to him and he opens in haste eager to know what was inside. He opens and inside the mail was; a Cheque, a letter of reappointment and a car key. He falls to his knees and all he could do was, cry like a baby. No word could find expression through his lips and all he could do was cry, hmm, what a tears of joy.
This man’s case is just to influence your thinking about what I am about to share with you as I continue with this article, “what is the definition of your tears”. I said earlier that, a burial is where you often see people cry and shed tears because of the demise of a loved one (as the case seem). However, let me shock you by saying this, “everyone shedding tears are not doing so because they are grieved” what I’m trying to draw your attention to is the fact that you see someone crying because someone dies does not equal mourning.
In a particular city on a Friday morning, the death of a very popular man was announced and everyone was caught unawares by this unfriendly news that has taken over the air. Later in the day, the compound of the deceased was filled with people who had come to pay condolence visits. With tears rolling down their chicks, they try to console one another but they couldn’t just have their way as nature refused to be cheated. The wife could not believe her beloved is no more and the children can’t believe they will remain fatherless for the rest of their lives, what a loss. In the midst of this emotionally overwhelming atmosphere appears a man from nowhere who wasted no time joining in contributing to the grief atmosphere. But something strange happened and that is where this article was birth.
Although, this latest mourner was grieved but it was a surprise and unbelievable to know the reason for his shedding of tears- what an irony of situation. He wept bitterly and to console him became another task(for those he met at the home of the deceased), when they all thought they had succeeded in calming him down suddenly he slammed himself on the ground and was beyond the power of those who tried consoling him. So after crying till his eyes could not supply him the needed water (tears) for the herculean task, he sat at a corner silent and all to himself. Suddenly he screamed at the top of his voice and the words that came from his “mourning mouth” were,”this man has killed me oh… MY MONEY IS GONE!”.Suddenly every tear disappeared (from people’s eyes) and lips were left widely apart. No one could believe what they’ve just heard. From that moment my thinking was redirected, that the reason people cry at a burial or because of another person’s death may not be because of the obvious reason but could be as a result of personal reason which at times is unbelievable.
It was latter that the witnesses got to realize that the deceased before his death had borrowed a sum of money close to 7million Naira from this man who just came into the deceased’s compound to execute a business which unfortunately for him (the deceased) failed and that contributed to his untimely debt because further investigation revealed that he had an accumulated debt close to about 50million. The irony of it is that most of those who came around came because they wanted to confirm the rumor of the deceased death because he (the deceased) owed them also. Sod at the end it became obvious that they were crying because of the money the deceased owed them before his death and even the wife was weeping because the man left nothing behind but debt. At the end of the day the definition of the mourners tears became obvious that they were mourning their uncertainty, the feasibility of recovering their money was very bleak and at that point, this question popped up; “what is the definition of your tears?

He kicked the bucket

All thought the wind was in his favor
Even the birds of the sky sang his name
He was the hero of many
A courage in time of discouragement.

If he could make it
We can do the same
So they sang with their inner voices
He drove them all the way.

He was down within
Yet never in the view of many
Cos they have been carried away
Carried away by the without.

Suddenly the unpleasant rented the air
He answered the call of the rope
To the surprise of all
He kicked the bucket.

The Love Song

I want to be the one
To uncover the veil
I want to be the one
Looking into your white balls from my heart.

From the deepest part of me
And say to your heaven made ears
“I love you with all my heart.
I truly want to be the one”.

To hold you in the dark
To cover up your weakness
I want to be the one
To sing your favorite love song.

Together we can make it happen
Together we can set the pace
Together we can become the love hero
I want to be the one.

Nigerians, the Problem of Nigeria

 

Still in the atmosphere of the 52nd independence anniversary, while on my way from Lagos to Kwara state, while reading a book and listening to music and MP3 messages from my phone with the earphone glued to my ears. I spared some moment thinking about my beloved country, Nigerian and her journey so far. For a country that is blessed with wonderful resources in human, material and natural resources and yet things are not in proper shape in the midst of the ‘abundance’. It is the conviction of many that Nigeria has problem(s) or better still Nigeria is not operating at the level she ought to as an independent nation. A 52year old for that matter! I choose not to belong to such school of thought that Nigeria has problem(s). I belong to a different school of thought which believes that Nigeria does not have problems. But Nigerians have problems and have successfully infected the innocent Nigeria with their problems. And as a result of this, Nigeria has become a victim of Nigerians problems. It is a sorry state to be in such a predicament caused by the inhabitants of such a blessed land- blessed with all kinds of resources in abundance. But due to the short-sightedness of the people the abundance resources have become scarce and this confirms the saying that, what a man sees determines (to a large extent) how he behaves and relates to live. I will discuss about 5 to 6 of the so called problems attached to Nigeria by her citizens or inhabitants. 
 

1. Corruption: You’ll agree with me that the number one problem on the lips of most people if asked what the major problem of 'Nigeria' is, corruption would be the response of well over 80%. It is a terrible situation/experience- where things are not done in the normal way, the absence of integrity in dealing with people and situations, not being straight in dealing with people. It's difficult where to get something done you would have to 'tip' the person who is in position in order to get such thing done. What a pity state. And as a result, Nigeria is regarded as one of the most corrupt nation in the world, no thanks to Nigerians.

2. Lack of Maintenance Culture: I was left disappointed when I saw the pictures (slides) of the current state of the National Stadium (Abuja)...I learnt the stadium was built with about N50 billion just about 9years ago precisely in 2003 for the 2003 all Africa games hosted by Nigeria... and to put it back in a 'proper shape' for football matches it’ll cost about N100 million....when are we going to stop wasting money and resources…It's a sad story. If the stadium had been properly maintained, there wouldn't have been need to waste tax-payers’ money to put it back in good condition. This is just one among many facilities that have fallen victim of the Nigerian lack of maintenance attitude which is doing us more harm than good. 
 

3. Selfishness: Stinginess resulting from a concern for your own welfare and a disregard of others. Nigeria has suffered a lot in the hands of selfish individuals who proclaim themselves as leaders. Leaders who have done nothing but enrich their pocket at the expense of those they claim to be representing (serving). Leaders and individuals who are concerned about nobody will never heed to the needs of the masses. This is the reason you'll see a public servant diverting the public fund into his personal account.
 

 4. Hypocrisy: My dictionary defines hypocrisy as, insincerity by virtue of pretending to have qualities or beliefs that you do not really have. This is another peculiar characteristic of Nigerians especially those who claim to be spiritual leaders, it's a pity most of them have sold their conscience for a piece of meat. Those who are meant to talk senses into the “heads” of this bunch of selfish Nigerians who have turned themselves to ‘god’ forgetting the fact that “nothing lasts forever”. Isn’t a man of integrity supposed to speak and act what he says?
 

 5. Bad Leadership: In the words of Dr. Myles Munroe, 'everything rises and falls on leadership', Nigeria is one of the most blessed countries on planet earth when it comes to human resources. But it is a pity that she's suffered from one succession of bad administration to another since 1960 (when she became an independent state). In spite of the abundance of human resources, Nigeria has suffered greatly in the hands of people who know little or nothing about leadership- individuals who think leadership is all about oppressing the masses and leaders having their way. On the contrary, the best way to lead is to serve; a leader is expected to represent the public and not his personal interest. 
I suggest that any candidate vying for any political office or appointed to occupy any office should undergo a compulsory school of leadership-where such person will be taught what leadership is all about. Rather than coming up and abusing power and position, not having any idea of what he/she is supposed to do as a leader. Having said all these, there is no hopeless situation except for the lifeless. In as much as there is life, all hope is not yet lost. A change of attitude is therefore demanded from us as individuals and fellow countrymen. Let us change our disposition towards our country and approach national issues with zeal and patriotism just like our heroes past. And above all, let the fear of GOD guide our hearts in whatever we do. A man who fears God will not treat another man badly and will not hesitate to do what he’s elected or appointed to do. And I must stress at this point that, all Nigerians have a part to play in this fight and the reclaiming the lost pride and dignity of our beloved country, Nigeria. God Bless Nigeria! 

+Adeolu Akinyemi +Richard Ugbede Ali   +Ifueko Alile +Olusegun Ayoade +Olumide Emmanuel 

MY BELOVED Country

The quality of a life those not consist in the material possession someone has been able to acquire during his life-time. Living a life of impact means a lot than having houses in every major city around the globe and using the latest cars in town. It is a pity that the priority of the younger generation has been corrupted and re-ordered and is heading towards the negative and destructive path. The once promising generation is fast disappearing from the list of relevance, the once zealous and determined have become lackadaisical and discouraged as events unfold each day. Their hearts have been corrupted and battered, they have been disappointed and betrayed times without numbers, but on this occasion, it’s as if the final punch has been released on their face as the once zealous has become so discouraged and have lost self belief. Who should be blamed for such an unfortunate scene?

The society has become such that a shadow of what she should be- overwhelmed by corruption and selfishness and the name of our beloved nation has become the best friend of the mod and have become the laughing stock of many nations. The so-called giant of Africa has lost her pride, dignity and throne. Bombing and killing of the innocent all in the name of making our point has become a hobby. The creation of the Almighty has become nothing to us because of our personal and selfish motive. A country where the rich cares about nothing but how fast the account grows. The rich are becoming richer as the hand of the clock ticks while the poor are left at the mercy of an uncertain miracle.

Nigeria, a land filled with milk and honey has become her opposite. A land blessed by the Almighty with both human and natural resources in abundance but has been robbed by selfishness and corruption. The future of our nation has become so bleak, no thanks to our attitude and lack of patriotisms. We are all to blame, YES… we have all contributed to the state we are. I look around and see a group of betrayed and wounded younger generation who seek nothing but an opportunity to get to a leadership position and avenge… all they do is seek for an opportunity to exploit others to enrich their pockets as their ‘predecessors’ have taught them. What a legacy to leave behind by a bunch of selfish individuals called leaders. I look back to the days when our heroes and nationalist fought for the birth of a nation with potential and promise… what about those potentials and promises? A giant in words and no action to show, rich in human resources yet no result to support- just numbers without result, no impact. Our beloved leaders, what about the promises you made before your election- perhaps, just another script in action, just meant to be read? Tears unstoppable flow from my helpless eyes as I string these words together, what a state that we are- a toothless dog, the king of the jungle that has lost his kingdom and lost his grip, authority and has become nothing but a figure-head. When are we going to stop going back to the drawing board, for goodness sake, it’s computer age!! The minors are now dictating the pace of the game…what a pity state.

Arise O Compatriot! Let’s lift the name of our nation high. Let’s forgive the errors and childish disposition of our leaders, the ball is now in our court let’s make things right… they’ve disappointed us for too long and we can’t allow ourselves to continue to be victims of their inhumane actions. They won’t make our future for us, we’ve got the pen in our hands tore-write history and correct things. There might be no immediate financial reward but we’ve got our names to write on the stones of time just like our heroes did. We have a choice to make- go for the fame or the name, building a castle or a legacy? God Bless Nigeria!!!

+Paul Oakenfold +Paul-Kayode Joash +Kenny Hopkins +faith dan adegboye +deola kayoed +Deolu Oniranu +Adekunle Alashi 

Down But Not Out

Many challenges have come our ways; we have faced a lot of trials and tribulations. We have passed through periods and situations when it seemed as if things would fall apart and the whole world was about falling on us. Life was never designed for the timid and chicken hearted. Someone very dear to my heart once said to me, “challenges are breakfast of champions”, to make it in life- to make impact, you have to be ready to dare a lot of things and the earlier you accept this fact, the better for you. I am yet to see a man that exists without his story, we all have stories to tell and the earlier we stop thinking we are the ones with the most serious story, the better for us and the earlier we get to our place of glory. The holy book (Bible) says, there’s no challenge/trial that happens to you (us) that is uncommon to men, but in the midst of it, God will show forth and provide a way of escape…

1 Cor.1013. My Dear friend and reader, whatever it is you have experienced or may be experiencing is just meant to make you better. It is in fact a necessary meal for you to give you a balanced diet and make you have a more healthy life or better still, “they are necessary meals for a healthy life (Victory)”. No matter the situation you are presently, don’t quit- you are just too close to the trophy than to give up. You’ve not come this far just for the fun of it, you came all the way for the prize, so why give up now. Another favorite quote of mine says; “Blessed is the man that endures trials, for at the end, he’ll receive the crown which God has promised those who love Him” (James 1:12) You’ve endured this far to receive the King’s crown, please, my beloved friend, just endure more; the crown is within reach.
Don’t disappoint the King’s effort. He has spent a lot to make this crown of gold- just for you (custom-made). You did not fall for you not to rise, but for you to become wiser (stronger and more determined), you’ve got what it takes friend. I believe in you, your generation believes in you, your loved ones believe in you, the King believes in you! We celebrated you birth ‘cos we believed a solution was birth. We see that solution- yes, we see it, it’s so obvious can’t you just see it? A fallen man is not a dead man, rise up friend, pick up your baton and continue, just a little more effort and the race will be over. You’ve got what it takes to make it and I already see you there. Congratulations friend…thanks!!!

My Definition of VALUES

The values of a man determine to a large extent what he does and how he thinks.

 

 The value you place on somebody or something determines your disposition towards it (how you handle it). The dictionary defines values as, beliefs of a person or social group in which they have an emotional investment (either for or against something). what your values are determines what you value -I value things such as; Character, Integrity, Self development, Life, Honesty, knowledge and Love to mention just a few, and the way I relate with and to these things is as a result of the worth I have placed on them.
The value I place on the people in my life is responsible for how I relate with them, my principle about inter-personal relationship states that ”treat people well to the best of your ability because you can never tell where and when you’ll meet again ” My personal definition of values is an acronym which I’ll share with you in a while and I implore you to work with it closely because I believe it will help you a great deal. My dear reader life is too short that you don’t care how you live ( your life)…don’t ever think you’ll have time on your side. Do all your best to make the best use of your time. Dear reader, your life is so precious that someone had to give His ALL for you. My definition of values is given as follows:

Vision: this is the picture of the future you see about yourself which has been revealed to you by a supernatural power GOD); and is applicable to every area of your life i.e. spiritual, finance, relationship, career etc.

Attitude is your disposition towards your pictured future. That is, what you’re thinking or how you are acting towards your vision which includes people regardless of the age, societal status and unexpected occurrences (challenges) etc. someone defines attitude as “the Aroma of your heart”.

Legacy: your legacy is what speaks for you when you are no more either because you have moved on or dead. Another word for legacy is will- a legal document declaring a person's wishes regarding the disposal of their property when they die. How rich is will, what is it worth, what will be said about that vision of yours (positive or negative), how long will your legacy live after you are no more and how WELL are you living? Stop thinking you are too young to start building a legacy- time has never being any one’s friend.

Usefulness: never continue to think you exist for yourself alone. No man was created to live in isolation. Different people have contributed to get you to where you are today in other words, they have been useful to you and courtesy demands that you do same to them and others. That vision, gift, talent, influence, wealth etc. is meant to be a platform for you to reach out and be of use to people-they need you.

Empowerment: my dear friend, you have been empowered to empower others; your vision should have a way of making (impacting) others better. Besides that, you should also keep making yourself better as each day passes by- find time to know more that you did yesterday, acquire more knowledge and improve your worth. Empower yourself- learn something, get better each day, read (good) books, attend seminars etc.

Structure(s): Dear friend, your life is a structure and must be treated as such, the quality of materials been used to build it matters a lot. Just as you’d want the best for your residential building so you should for your life. The kind of materials you allow to be used- the people, books, films etc. that you expose yourself to matter a whole lot. How well are these things contributing to the quality of your life. If you don’t have a mentor or teacher, get one very soon- someone you respect and can learn from.
My friends, it is high-time we begin to live our lives in such a way that it becomes good example to someone, somehow and somewhere. Let’s build the right values hence, making our society a better place. The above principles are applicable to any area of life and with the right attitude, good results are inevitable. They have worked and are still working for me and I believe they will work for you. All the best! Vision + Attitude + Legacy + Usefulness + Empowerment +Structures = VALUES

+deola kayoed +Deolu Oniranu +Adeolu Akinyemi +Omolola Faleye +Gbemi Akande +Ekpo Godwin +Ayo Ojebode +deoye Falade

A Dark Sunday

The daily produces unpleasant products
The ear is becoming more displeased
The heart is hurt as each minute and second tick
We grief, we mourn-‘cos our heart is hurt.

The loss of precious yet again
Lives that would have made the difference
This is one but too many, divinity come console us again.
A dark and very black weekend
A stained Sunday Our nation has been badly hit
Heaven please help, it’s so devastating to the ears
and the pillars of our heart have been taken apart.

We can’t handle this, divinity come to our rescue
Could this be the consequence of our inhuman acts?
Have our iniquity come to pay us a visit?
Heaven please, we need a hug- a warm embrace we ask for
We plead for divine consolation
Let mercy come dwell amongst us-take your green card and have it.
May their souls rest in peace
And their loved ones be consoled from above
We pray, not for this Lord please!

Becoming An Inspirational Writer

Many times we wake up having many things to say, write or share with people around. We are inspired! But we seem to be denied the right words to put together in order to convey our inner feelings…

One of the periods and times of the day that I’ll always cherish is the morning- to me it brings inspiration, thoughts, imaginations and undiluted expressions. It is often one of my peak periods in the 24hours that each day makes available unto me and I don’t joke with it at all. I have to come to realize that it is one of the times I easily get provoked to spill the ink, although I write some other times- in fact I can write under any circumstance or situation.

I don't appreciate it when someone "interrupts" during such period -especially when I am in the mood. Whatever seems too urgent needs to wait pending when I am done. however, that does not call for rudeness or disrespect towards whoever interrupts.

 As a young and upcoming writer, it is important for you to know your peak periods and maximize them to the fullest. You hardly get the same arrangement of words the same way at different periods.
There is something I’ve come to know about writing, you have to maximize your time of inspiration, when it comes. Do all you can to put those thoughts of yours in writing and let someone else benefit from your inspiration. That could be the key to somebody’s breakthrough.

You can never tell the person who gets to read what you’ve written. Please dear upcoming writer, maximize your “hours of inspiration”.
+Adekunle Alashi +deola kayoed +Abisola Ojo +Nike Alade +Seyi Adeyemi +Deolu Oniranu +Egedegbe Dorcas +Adeolu Akinyemi +Falanya Curtis +Fela Babalola 

My Take on Subsidy Removal

Change is the constant thing. But it is another ball game when it comes to accepting it and living it. On the 1st day of what promises to be a “happy new year”, the atmosphere all of a sudden became a calm and that of surprise no thanks to the new year gift announced by the number one citizen of our beloved country and giant of Africa, President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan.
What was supposed to be a happy new beginning became the opposite. All those who went to their various places of worship and had returned with great expectations of what the year has to offer began to doubt their men of God, no thanks to the ”unexpected” new year gift by the president. What we were all expecting to take effect in April, suddenly decided to use January as its arrival date precisely the first day. What a way to begin a new year.
The price of petrol is now 141N I couldn’t believe what my ears heard so, I quickly picked my phone and called my Dad whom I believe was in a better position to give me the most reliable information. From the first statement he made, I already knew he knew what I was calling him for and of course, his guess was right. After picking his call the first statement that proceeded out of my helpless lips was ”is it through dad” and he replied “yes my son” immediately I dropped the call and my heart melted.
I started pondering, is this the solution to our problem, is this the first step that should be taken, have I not wasted my vote? Different thought started passing through my thinking faculty.
If at all there is the need to remove subsidy from petrol is this the way to go about it. It this government not sensitive to the effect it would have on the masses even if they have what it takes to cope with any price at all. I am not against the removal of subsidy but what borders me is the effect it would have on the cost of living which definitely will be felt mostly by the masses. The implication of this is that everything, without will become more expensive while salaries remain at the same level.
Instead of increasing the price of petrol or removing the subsidy, why not reduce the cost of governing first. How can only one person be collecting 600N million because he is a political office holder? I thought he is there to serve? Such a person would not feel the effect as the common man whose annual take home pay is not even up to 1M? Indeed this government is not sensitive to the suffering of the masses at all.
In the process of expressing their anger, some innocent citizens have lost their lives. Only God knows what the future holds for them. If the right step had been taken there wouldn’t have been the need for people losing their loved ones.
I am of the opinion that instead of removing subsidy first, the effect of the removal on the masses should have been the first thing so that the direct effect will not be shouldered by the common man who hardly feeds his family twice a day.
Besides that, students have been at home for months because ASSU has been on strike, which should have been resolved before creating another unfriendly atmosphere for the citizens. It goes a long way to show that the gov3ernment is not concerned about the future of the country.
In conclusion, until the Federal Government give we Nigerians a convincing explanation and audit on how the fund of this country have been handled for the last 15years, they have no right to remove the subsidy from petrol because they have not been accountable to us.

Teenagers Take Note

The life of any human is made up of different sectors and aspect. That is, what makes up a man is more than the physical him you see every day, his life is divided into various and different components (financial, spiritual, emotional, psychological, etc.). And apart from that, there are different stages of live/living, which we all must someday pass through (it’s just a matter of time). These stages have their different lessons attached to them of which we have to learn else, reality will catch up with us someday.
One of the most sensitive and in fact the most critical of all is the period known as the”TEEN-AGE”. The teen-age is the stage at which the shape of adult-hood is formed and “the future personality” and character is built. The Wikipedia defines a teenager (teen) as, “a young person whose age is between thirteen and nineteen (13-19). They are called teenagers because their age number ends in “teen”. ”
This stage of life has its peculiarities and care must be taken to bare them in mind by parents, would-be parents as well as teenagers in order to avoid being a victim. Briefly we shall take a look at some characteristics synonymous with this stage (teen-age) of human growth. Teenagers go through a lot of physical, mental and emotional during this period this is called adolescence or puberty.
Characteristics of Teenagers
1. Moody
2. Energetic
3. Rebellious
4. Think they know it all
5. Selfish
6. Irresponsible
7. Insensitive
8. Insecure
9. Conforming and
10. Promiscuous.
Although there might be exception with some teenagers, but care must be taken to note these things to avoid unnecessary clash between parents-teenagers and teachers-teenagers.
According to Jake Morphonios, in his article titled, Preparing Teenagers for the Challenges of Life: A Critical Evaluation of Common Resources. “Parents often lack the tact, skill or interest to effectively help their teens during this tumultuous period in their lives. This raises questions as to what resources may be most useful to help prepare teenagers to face these challenges”. These challenges include; the development of an identity, the transformation of family relationships, and development of close relationship with peers, the development of sexuality etc.
However, the purpose of this write-up is on one of the major challenges that our teenagers face. This does not in any way undermine the importance relevance of other challenges.
The development of sexuality or the display of Promiscuous attitudes by teens must be handled with every form of seriousness and wisdom at the same time. This is a stage where the child needs the parent(s) the more and parents are also expected to make themselves available to their wards as well. In fact, parents are supposed to relate more as a friend to their teens like never before when they begin to sense the display of such attitude.
Any mistake or carelessness of the teens could lead to a major setback in his/her life. Prior to this time, parents are expected to start educating their teens on how to handle the opposite sex and this must be done with every sense of honesty. This is very vital because if it is not done at home (parents etc.), one way or the other, the child will know about it and the resultant effect might be disastrous. So the importance of sex education must be given utmost priority.
In the world that we are today, there are many means through which a child can be educated. And these tools of education often influence their behavior negatively if not properly guided. This is where the role of a proper foundation comes to play its role. Sources or causes of influence include; peer group, media, parents, siblings, relatives, teachers, background/environment, personal experience etc.
A lot of teens today are involved in sex and many of them have in fact become addicted and obsessed with it. According to UNICEF, 70,000 pregnant teenagers from the ages of 15 and 19 die each year from child birth and pregnancy related complications. And those who give birth under the age of 15 are five times more likely not to survive.
Furthermore, there are over 20million women in the world in the 20-24 age range who were married before they turned 18. Most of those child brides reside in South Asia and Africa. Under the age of 18, mothers face a 60% greater chance that their child will die in its first year of birth.
Enough is enough. We must put an end to this and it starts from you. We all must make conscious effort to help “our teenagers (teenagers around us)”, they can’t do it all by themselves. They need our help to come out of that dilemma; they need a true friend and not a boss. Parents please change your attitude towards them; draw them closer, they need you more than ever so that their destiny will not be corrupted or tampered with.
The How to Teach Them
1. Plan a time to talk to your teens about abstinence- a time that you’ll have his/her full attention.
2. Ask your teens to give her definition of abstinence and then use that for the discussion.
3. Give your perception of abstinence based on your personal outlook.
4. Be prepared with statistics regarding teen sex. You can even go as far as printing the statistics out to have on hand during your conversation.
5. Make the communication level open. That s, don’t be too rigid or bossy during the conversation.
And to the teens, stop those negative and life destroying habits you have hitherto embraced. Seek advice/ counsel of someone who can help a godly grown-up and matured person. Teenagers please never continue to think that no one cares about you…there is always someone who is willing and ready to help, all you have to do is call for help. Your parent, religious leaders, teachers, siblings etc. are all willing to help you.
Hey teenager! Your life is a very precious jewel and you can’t afford to handle it anyhow else you’ll have no one to blame but you. There are some mistakes that you cannot afford to make now ‘cos they’ll tell on your future. Please what lies ahead of you is very important than the pleasure of the moment. Boy, you don’t need a girl friend now and my dear sister, you don’t need a boy-friend now- all he wants is your body and nothing else. Don’t let him cause you emotional pain. STOP IT NOW before it is too late.
Courtesy: D’Kingz Pen.
08036524707, 08184679839

Orisun Oruko

Oruko re po oluwa
Oye re po kabiyesi
Ko si ohun t’a le fi o we eleda
Mo wo kiri, mi o ri eni bi re afigbogbo ara s’oju
Oye re poju, ko l’ounka.

Ibeere ati opin ohun gbogbo
Orison aye ohun orun
Eleda ohun gbogbo, eyi ti a ri ati eyi ti a ko ri
Ouwa awon oluwa, eni ti a kori t’ o n ri wa
Orison gbogbo ogbon ati oye.

Atof’arati, eni ti a nfi gbgbo ara le
Gbani gbani, eni t’o ti gba wa
Olufini mo ona, eni t’o n to wa s’ona
Oluranlowo eda, eni ti o nran ni lowo
Eletilukara bi ajere, ko si ohun t’a n wi ti e o gbo

Arugbo ojo, oba ti ki n sa
Arugbo ojo, oba ti ki n baje
Arugbo ojo, oba ti ki n tan
Arugbo ojo, oba t’o wa lati ibeere
Arugbo ojo, oba ti a ko le ro loye
Titi aye ni oruko re oba mi
Titi aye ni oruko re yoo ma kan
Titi aye ni yin oluwa mi
Oba oke, oba ile, oba ohun gbogbo
Titi li a o ma kan sara si o.

A ko le yin o tan
A ko le ki o tan
A ko le mo o tan
A ko le ri o tan
Oba ti ko le tan.

Otun otun ni o baba mi
Orisun mi o, eyi ti ko ni opin
Eewa ti ko le san i o, orisun eewa
Awamarididi ni o baba, tani eni to le ri’di re?
Mo wa kiriri, mow o kiri, ko si.

Iwo ni oluko
Iwo ni olumo
Iwo ni olulana
Iwo ohun gbogbo
Awama rirdi ni o baba mi.

The Fallen Corps part.2

Uncontrollable tears flow from the eyes of all
The heart is weak and sorrow has claimed the lord
The hope of an aged widow has been seized by the wicked
All in the name of unreasonable ideologies.

Why have you thrown the helpless widow into darkness?
Why have you chosen to suffer the innocent
The hope of the aged one
This is cruel act and a senseless.

When the fruit of her long lasting labor was almost over
You’ve gone too far, two pillars in the same building.
The heart of the helpless is against you
And the soul of the aged is against you.

The Fallen Corps

Together we answered the clarion call
Hungry and eager to serve our fatherland
The one our heroes past bought for us
But along the way, they fell.

With patriotism and zeal wanting to serve
Carrying on the legacy of our heroes past
But suddenly they’ve been taken away
Tears rent my eyes and chicks.

My white round dotted balls
Suddenly have decamped to the red community
Heaven please wipe my tears away
Can’t hold back these sorrowful tears.

My heart is weak
All for the untimely fallen corps
Heaven please accept their souls and grant them peaceful rest.
May their souls rest in peace.

The SCRIPTED UNION

Someday, somehow, somewhere, my wedding bell will ring
When I would have found my missing rib
And like Adam I’ll say, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh”
I shall cleave to her for the rest of my life.

We’ll all get married someday
Someday we’ll gonna find our soul mates
Hmm! A day we all pray to experience
Uncovering the face behind the veil.

I don’t want to be caught unawares
Neither do I want to be in haste
I know it takes sacrifice and sacrifice
I’ve to be willing, and give it what it takes.

I want to be the best, a positive reference for all
Showing the world around the how to it
Equipping myself for the task ahead, it’s for the matured
Making self secondary and sacrifice to make it work.

Knowing for sure that it requires a great deal of patience
Not leaving behind perseverance and forgiveness;
Knowing well that none is perfect.
May LOVE hold my hand and guide my heart through this life journey.

Studying and understanding my rib’s love language
And communicating with and through it effectively
All for the success of this journey of commitment
I dare not quit, I’ll make it work regardless.

Being to you the best of friend and loving you like never before
Putting on your face the best of smiles
And the companion you’ll ever know
Together we can make it work and rewrite the marital script.

Even in the midst of our differences we’ll find excitement
And in our struggles we will find strength
Our LOVE will grow stronger regardless of the odds
And all will marvel at the SCRIPTED UNION.

We’ve Got Our Identity

Far away from home, lost in another man’s land
All in search for a treasure
And in the midst of my search
I became a victim of my fate, what a pity.

Mystery has overtaken me and regret has claimed lord over me
Wandering like a man from no man’s land
Comfort has become a treasure to the wanderer
And regret has become a favorite song.

I can’t take this no more, I’ve to retrace my steps
“ti ‘waju o ba se lo, eyin a se pada si”
Why settle for a lower class when the better is within reach
I deserve something better than this.

Home is home regardless.
Fellow countrymen, let’s go back to our fatherland
“I prefer to live as a king in the jungle than like a lion in the city”
Arise my people arise, arise and let’s go claim our territory.

Let’s make the labor of our heroes count
Enough of waiting for crumbs
Let’s go for something better
We aren’t slaves, why should we be treated as one.

Arise, o compatriot
Let’s claim our land of birth
Let’s uphold our flag of birth
And leave behind a lasting legacy.

This is our land
This is our territory
May our upcoming be proud about us
And our names rent their lips.

Oh, home sweet home I can say at last
With our banners raised and with songs of victory
Now we have our sovereignty, thanks to patriotism
At last we can say, “We’ve got our identity”.

The Love Song

I want to be the one
To uncover the veil
I want to be the one
Looking into your white balls from my heart.

From the deepest part of me
And say to your heaven made ears
“I love you with all my heart.
I truly want to be the one”.

To hold you in the dark
To cover up your weakness
I want to be the one
To sing your favorite love song.

Together we can make it happen
Together we can set the pace
Together we can become the love hero
I want to be the one.

He kicked the bucket

All thought the wind was in his favor
Even the birds of the sky sang his name
He was the hero of many
A courage in time of discouragement.

If he could make it
We can do the same
So they sang with their inner voices
He drove them all the way.

He was down within
Yet never in the view of many
Cos they have been carried away
Carried away by the without.

Suddenly the unpleasant rented the air
He answered the call of the rope
To the surprise of all
He kicked the bucket.

What is the definition of your tears?

I know the title of this write up sounds strange and even extremely weird to some people, but don’t blame me. It is a thought that metamorphosis into a question which eventually gave birth to this strangely titled write up. I’ve had situations where shedding tears was the” only way out”, the only way I could express my feeling at such time. I believe that at one time or the other you have had one reason or the other to shed tears or weep as a result of one situation that you are faced with at that particular time. Whatever word you choose (shed tears, cry or weep), it all boils down to the fact that live is not all about laughing or smiling (having fun). You have times when you have shed tears probably because you were overwhelmed by emotion unknowingly or knowingly (which could be pleasant or unpleasant to you).
One of such occasions, where and when you see people shed tears is a burial ceremony or when someone dies. In such situation you often see people both old and young regardless of the gender (male or female) shedding tears uncontrollably. It is however important to state at this point that there are certain advantages associated with the shedding of tears. I would love to share a few of the ’advantages’ associated with the shedding of tears as I proceed.
Emotional Relief: Tears have a way of bringing emotional relieve to the person in question, it helps to express feelings you can’t explain in words hence, the best and suitable way of expressing ones emotion or feeling at such moment is by shedding tears. So when you see people shedding tears know that they haven’t been able to find the suitable grammatical construction (words) at such time to express their or feelings. And burial is just a good example to buttress this view.
However, it is not only at funeral or burial ceremony that you see people shed tears. Someone could also shed tears when he or she experiences disappointment, maybe the person just received a sack letter and he or she is shocked as a result of the sack. When what appears to be the source of livelihood suddenly disappears into the thin air. At the reading of such letter the person’s reaction could be tears rolling down the chicks. Then different thoughts and questions begin to travel through the person’s mind, questions like; “what have I done to deserve this, where do I start from, why me? “And so on.
Moreover, tears are not just meant for sad or unhappy and unpleasant moments. Someone could be shedding tears because he or she is overwhelmed with joy and this is what is often called “the tears of joy”. Take for example someone who was sacked for no just reason and for about 20 years was struggling to keep his family together then suddenly after about 20 years, on a Monday morning while thinking on how to go about the struggle for the week, while still sitting in his expired bed in a one room apartment suddenly, his half-dead phone rings and he reluctantly picked and answered the called and the following words came out of his helpless phone,”…you have been recalled and you are you are to resume immediately and will be receiving all your salaries for the past 20 years apart from your compensation , for been unduly sacked this runs to about 10million dollars…” then after that while still trying to accept it as the truth, a mail deliverer knocks and he opens the door for him, a mail was delivered to him and he opens in haste eager to know what was inside. He opens and inside the mail was; a cheque, a letter of reappointment and a car key. He falls to his knees and all he could do was, cry like a baby. No word could find expression through his lips and all he could do was cry, hmm, what a tears of joy.
This man’s case is just to influence your thinking about what I am about to share with you as I continue with this article, “what is the definition of your tears”. I said earlier that, a burial is where you often see people cry and shed tears because of the demise of a loved one (as the case seem). However, let me shock you by saying this, “everyone shedding tears are not doing so because they are grieved” what I’m trying to draw your attention to is the fact that you see someone crying because someone dies does not equal mourning.
In a particular city on a Friday morning, the death of a very popular man was announced and everyone was caught unawares by this unfriendly news that has taken over the air. Later in the day, the compound of the deceased was filled with people who had come to pay condolence visits. With tears rolling down their chicks, they try to console one another but they couldn’t just have their way as nature refused to be cheated. The wife could not believe her beloved is no more and the children can’t believe they will remain fatherless for the rest of their lives, what a loss. In the midst of this emotionally overwhelming atmosphere appears a man from nowhere who wasted no time joining in contributing to the grief atmosphere. But something strange happened and that is where this article was birth.
Although, this latest mourner was grieved but it was a surprise and unbelievable to know the reason for his shedding of tears- what an irony of situation. He wept bitterly and to console him became another task(for those he met at the home of the deceased), when they all thought they had succeeded in calming him down suddenly he slammed himself on the ground and was beyond the power of those who tried consoling him. So after crying till his eyes could not supply him the needed water (tears) for the herculean task, he sat at a corner silent and all to himself. Suddenly he screamed at the top of his voice and the words that came from his “mourning mouth” were,”this man has killed me oh… MY MONEY IS GONE!”.Suddenly every tear disappeared (from people’s eyes) and lips were left widely apart. No one could believe what they’ve just heard. From that moment my thinking was redirected, that the reason people cry at a burial or because of another person’s death may not be because of the obvious reason but could be as a result of personal reason which at times is unbelievable.
It was latter that the witnesses got to realize that the deceased before his death had borrowed a sum of money close to N7million from this man who just came into the deceased’s compound to execute a business which unfortunately for him (the deceased) failed and that contributed to his untimely debt because further investigation revealed that he had an accumulated debt close to about 50million. The irony of it is that most of those who came around came because they wanted to confirm the rumor of the deceased death because he (the deceased) owed them also. Sod at the end it became obvious that they were crying because of the money the deceased owed them before his death and even the wife was weeping because the man left nothing behind but debt. At the end of the day the definition of the mourners tears became obvious that they were mourning their uncertainty, the feasibility of recovering their money was very bleak and at that point, this question popped up; “what is the definition of your tears?

Forgiveness; What You Must Learn

Live is made up of different stages and phases where we meet people with different natures and characters. And as we move on meeting people there is one unavoidable truth, you will be offended but that is not the focus for now. The questions I want to ask you are; are you waiting to be offended or you waiting to forgive? These are vital questions we should ask ourselves as we wake from our bed each day and embark on our daily activities.
It is obvious that, we have our likes and dislikes as individual human beings. It is therefore almost impossibility for you not to be offended on a daily basis especially when you are the outgoing type or someone whose job description involves dealing with people. In as much as we are faced with different individual challenges and selfish intensions. Even while at home it happens when the husband wants to watch a football match and the wife wants to watch a movie or her favorite weekly program while at the same time the children want to watch their favorite, Tom and Jerry. In such cases we play our politics well and at the end of the day they are able to reach a compromise and no one is hurt. And that is the same attitude and mind set we ought to apply in dealing with people.
As a member of a team you have people with different ideology so the possibility of been offended is very high. But you won’t say because you were offended by a team member you’ll stop being a member of that team, you’ll be doing more harm than progress to your promising career.
So in as much as it impossible for you not to be offended then I suggest to you that the best thing for to do is, “always be ready to forgive” don’t wait for you to be offended instead be ready to forgive in other words, always be on the alert, waiting to forgive someone that will offend you.
Your ability to forgive your offenders has a lot of advantages and I will share a few of them with you briefly and I hope you’ll put them in mind. One of the benefits of forgiving others is that it is a sign of maturity; your ability to forgive your offender shows that you are a matured person and people will often respect you for that. Another benefit of being able to forgive is that gives you peace of mind, your mind is often at peace when you have no hurt against anyone in your heart and you are able to do whatever it is that you want to do with a free mind and at a better level of concentration. Your ability to forgive also helps your growth and your facial expression.
Another important benefit (which can be derived from forgiveness) I’ll like to share with you is FOCUS; forgiveness has a way of helping your ability to focus. For instance when you have hurt or unforgiveness in your heart, it makes it difficult for you to concentrate (Complete attention; intense mental effort) your mind on a task that is ahead of you. Anytime and every time you remember that someone has hurt you it tells on your concentration thereby affecting your pace on that particular task or assignment you have in hand. So it is my believe and advice that you let go of that hurt you are holding against your offender he’s just a brother or sister from another mother so let go so that you can focus better. It could even be the reason why you have not being productive enough in your place of work, everyone knows what you are capable of doing but all of a sudden your productivity level has nosedived. Friend, just give it a try and see how your productivity level reacts with the help of your focus on that job.
At this point let me share a personal experience with you. This happened to me to the end of my last year in university. It was a very crucial stage of my life, I was in my final year in the university and it was as if I was the target of people who needed someone to hurt or offend, first it was the issue of my final project, that was not moving at the pace I wanted it to due to my supervisor’s busy schedule and this really affected me to the extent that I fell ill at a particular time and as if that wasn’t enough there came the class project brouhaha.
I felt it was a good idea that we part with fun memories of one another in heart and look back with fun in five, ten and twenty years the good ending memory we had together would still be fresh in our memories then and would be pleasant to remember. We (committee) came up with the idea of having a final year package that will include; t-shirt, year book and CD then cap it up with a diner/award night. So people who we interested contributed and afterwards the committee in charge went ahead with the awarding of contracts to the various clients. Unfortunately along the line there was a bridge of contract by one of the parties we awarded the contract to. The production of the t-shirt was below standard and far from what we agreed and the consequence was insults that were inevitable because a lot were already waiting for us to make mistakes, this really hurt my feeling and I began to regret bringing up the idea and even being a front-runner. And for weeks this affected me and I was emotionally down and was unable to focus on the important and vital things, my academics and others. To study became a challenge and even to embark on important issue. This is what hurt can do to you, it will reduce your effectiveness.
Hurt not dealt with is capable of affecting your relationship with your loved ones. It is advisable that you should never allow any offence get at you or else it will cause you more harm than good. When I had that unfriendly experience with some of my course mates it affected my relationship with other people even those at home (my family members). It became very difficult to relate with people at home due to the insults that I’ve allowed to get at me as a result of the flop that came up in school as a result of the substandard T-shirt that was produced. During this period I was easily upset by little things and even a friend became a victim of my immaturity during this time but thank God, we settled our disagreement almost immediately and we shook hands thereafter.
Forgiving your offenders also contributes a great deal to your happiness. The more the hurt you carry in your heart the more unhappy you are and the more forgiving you are the more happy you are also. Most of those you see as happy people are not happy because they have not been offended but, because they have been able to forgive their offenders and move on with their lives. Unforgiveness will affect your happiness and always reduce your level of productivity so please deal with it before it deals with you.
Your ability to forgive your offenders shows beyond doubt that you are a matured person and people will get to respect you for having such an attribute. It must be learnt and consciously developed and worked upon, to grow and, just like we go to school to learn we also have to learn how to forgive as we grow. There is no school that teaches forgiveness but you have to learn it and the only way to show that you’ve learnt it is by living it. Forgiving those who offend you is an attribute of matured beings and will bring you respect and joy.