What is the Definition of Your Tears?

I know the title of this write up sounds strange and even extremely weird to some people, but don’t blame me. It is a thought that metamorphosis into a question which eventually gave birth to this strangely titled write up. I’ve had situations where shedding tears was the” only way out”, the only way I could express my feeling at such time. I believe that at one time or the other you have had one reason or the other to shed tears or weep as a result of one situation that you are faced with at that particular time. Whatever word you choose (shed tears, cry or weep), it all boils down to the fact that live is not all about laughing or smiling (having fun). You have times when you have shed tears probably because you were overwhelmed by emotion unknowingly or knowingly (which could be pleasant or unpleasant to you).
One of such occasions, where and when you see people shed tears is a burial ceremony or when someone dies. In such situation you often see people both old and young regardless of the gender (male or female) shedding tears uncontrollably. It is however important to state at this point that there are certain advantages associated with the shedding of tears. I would love to share a few of the ’advantages’ associated with the shedding of tears as I proceed.
Emotional Relief: Tears have a way of bringing emotional relieve to the person in question, it helps to express feelings you can’t explain in words hence, the best and suitable way of expressing ones emotion or feeling at such moment is by shedding tears. So when you see people shedding tears know that they haven’t been able to find the suitable grammatical construction (words) at such time to express their or feelings. And burial is just a good example to buttress this view.
However, it is not only at funeral or burial ceremony that you see people shed tears. Someone could also shed tears when he or she experiences disappointment, maybe the person just received a sack letter and he or she is shocked as a result of the sack. When what appears to be the source of livelihood suddenly disappears into the thin air. At the reading of such letter the person’s reaction could be tears rolling down the chicks. Then different thoughts and questions begin to travel through the person’s mind, questions like; “what have I done to deserve this, where do I start from, why me? “And so on.
Moreover, tears are not just meant for sad or unhappy and unpleasant moments. Someone could be shedding tears because he or she is overwhelmed with joy and this is what is often called “the tears of joy”. Take for example someone who was sacked for no just reason and for about 20 years was struggling to keep his family together then suddenly after about 20 years, on a Monday morning while thinking on how to go about the struggle for the week, while still sitting in his expired bed in a one room apartment suddenly, his half-dead phone rings and he reluctantly picked and answered the called and the following words came out of his helpless phone,”…you have been recalled and you are you are to resume immediately and will be receiving all your salaries for the past 20 years apart from your compensation , for been unduly sacked this runs to about 10million dollars…” then after that while still trying to accept it as the truth, a mail deliverer knocks and he opens the door for him, a mail was delivered to him and he opens in haste eager to know what was inside. He opens and inside the mail was; a Cheque, a letter of reappointment and a car key. He falls to his knees and all he could do was, cry like a baby. No word could find expression through his lips and all he could do was cry, hmm, what a tears of joy.
This man’s case is just to influence your thinking about what I am about to share with you as I continue with this article, “what is the definition of your tears”. I said earlier that, a burial is where you often see people cry and shed tears because of the demise of a loved one (as the case seem). However, let me shock you by saying this, “everyone shedding tears are not doing so because they are grieved” what I’m trying to draw your attention to is the fact that you see someone crying because someone dies does not equal mourning.
In a particular city on a Friday morning, the death of a very popular man was announced and everyone was caught unawares by this unfriendly news that has taken over the air. Later in the day, the compound of the deceased was filled with people who had come to pay condolence visits. With tears rolling down their chicks, they try to console one another but they couldn’t just have their way as nature refused to be cheated. The wife could not believe her beloved is no more and the children can’t believe they will remain fatherless for the rest of their lives, what a loss. In the midst of this emotionally overwhelming atmosphere appears a man from nowhere who wasted no time joining in contributing to the grief atmosphere. But something strange happened and that is where this article was birth.
Although, this latest mourner was grieved but it was a surprise and unbelievable to know the reason for his shedding of tears- what an irony of situation. He wept bitterly and to console him became another task(for those he met at the home of the deceased), when they all thought they had succeeded in calming him down suddenly he slammed himself on the ground and was beyond the power of those who tried consoling him. So after crying till his eyes could not supply him the needed water (tears) for the herculean task, he sat at a corner silent and all to himself. Suddenly he screamed at the top of his voice and the words that came from his “mourning mouth” were,”this man has killed me oh… MY MONEY IS GONE!”.Suddenly every tear disappeared (from people’s eyes) and lips were left widely apart. No one could believe what they’ve just heard. From that moment my thinking was redirected, that the reason people cry at a burial or because of another person’s death may not be because of the obvious reason but could be as a result of personal reason which at times is unbelievable.
It was latter that the witnesses got to realize that the deceased before his death had borrowed a sum of money close to 7million Naira from this man who just came into the deceased’s compound to execute a business which unfortunately for him (the deceased) failed and that contributed to his untimely debt because further investigation revealed that he had an accumulated debt close to about 50million. The irony of it is that most of those who came around came because they wanted to confirm the rumor of the deceased death because he (the deceased) owed them also. Sod at the end it became obvious that they were crying because of the money the deceased owed them before his death and even the wife was weeping because the man left nothing behind but debt. At the end of the day the definition of the mourners tears became obvious that they were mourning their uncertainty, the feasibility of recovering their money was very bleak and at that point, this question popped up; “what is the definition of your tears?

Nigerians, the Problem of Nigeria

 

Still in the atmosphere of the 52nd independence anniversary, while on my way from Lagos to Kwara state, while reading a book and listening to music and MP3 messages from my phone with the earphone glued to my ears. I spared some moment thinking about my beloved country, Nigerian and her journey so far. For a country that is blessed with wonderful resources in human, material and natural resources and yet things are not in proper shape in the midst of the ‘abundance’. It is the conviction of many that Nigeria has problem(s) or better still Nigeria is not operating at the level she ought to as an independent nation. A 52year old for that matter! I choose not to belong to such school of thought that Nigeria has problem(s). I belong to a different school of thought which believes that Nigeria does not have problems. But Nigerians have problems and have successfully infected the innocent Nigeria with their problems. And as a result of this, Nigeria has become a victim of Nigerians problems. It is a sorry state to be in such a predicament caused by the inhabitants of such a blessed land- blessed with all kinds of resources in abundance. But due to the short-sightedness of the people the abundance resources have become scarce and this confirms the saying that, what a man sees determines (to a large extent) how he behaves and relates to live. I will discuss about 5 to 6 of the so called problems attached to Nigeria by her citizens or inhabitants. 
 

1. Corruption: You’ll agree with me that the number one problem on the lips of most people if asked what the major problem of 'Nigeria' is, corruption would be the response of well over 80%. It is a terrible situation/experience- where things are not done in the normal way, the absence of integrity in dealing with people and situations, not being straight in dealing with people. It's difficult where to get something done you would have to 'tip' the person who is in position in order to get such thing done. What a pity state. And as a result, Nigeria is regarded as one of the most corrupt nation in the world, no thanks to Nigerians.

2. Lack of Maintenance Culture: I was left disappointed when I saw the pictures (slides) of the current state of the National Stadium (Abuja)...I learnt the stadium was built with about N50 billion just about 9years ago precisely in 2003 for the 2003 all Africa games hosted by Nigeria... and to put it back in a 'proper shape' for football matches it’ll cost about N100 million....when are we going to stop wasting money and resources…It's a sad story. If the stadium had been properly maintained, there wouldn't have been need to waste tax-payers’ money to put it back in good condition. This is just one among many facilities that have fallen victim of the Nigerian lack of maintenance attitude which is doing us more harm than good. 
 

3. Selfishness: Stinginess resulting from a concern for your own welfare and a disregard of others. Nigeria has suffered a lot in the hands of selfish individuals who proclaim themselves as leaders. Leaders who have done nothing but enrich their pocket at the expense of those they claim to be representing (serving). Leaders and individuals who are concerned about nobody will never heed to the needs of the masses. This is the reason you'll see a public servant diverting the public fund into his personal account.
 

 4. Hypocrisy: My dictionary defines hypocrisy as, insincerity by virtue of pretending to have qualities or beliefs that you do not really have. This is another peculiar characteristic of Nigerians especially those who claim to be spiritual leaders, it's a pity most of them have sold their conscience for a piece of meat. Those who are meant to talk senses into the “heads” of this bunch of selfish Nigerians who have turned themselves to ‘god’ forgetting the fact that “nothing lasts forever”. Isn’t a man of integrity supposed to speak and act what he says?
 

 5. Bad Leadership: In the words of Dr. Myles Munroe, 'everything rises and falls on leadership', Nigeria is one of the most blessed countries on planet earth when it comes to human resources. But it is a pity that she's suffered from one succession of bad administration to another since 1960 (when she became an independent state). In spite of the abundance of human resources, Nigeria has suffered greatly in the hands of people who know little or nothing about leadership- individuals who think leadership is all about oppressing the masses and leaders having their way. On the contrary, the best way to lead is to serve; a leader is expected to represent the public and not his personal interest. 
I suggest that any candidate vying for any political office or appointed to occupy any office should undergo a compulsory school of leadership-where such person will be taught what leadership is all about. Rather than coming up and abusing power and position, not having any idea of what he/she is supposed to do as a leader. Having said all these, there is no hopeless situation except for the lifeless. In as much as there is life, all hope is not yet lost. A change of attitude is therefore demanded from us as individuals and fellow countrymen. Let us change our disposition towards our country and approach national issues with zeal and patriotism just like our heroes past. And above all, let the fear of GOD guide our hearts in whatever we do. A man who fears God will not treat another man badly and will not hesitate to do what he’s elected or appointed to do. And I must stress at this point that, all Nigerians have a part to play in this fight and the reclaiming the lost pride and dignity of our beloved country, Nigeria. God Bless Nigeria! 

+Adeolu Akinyemi +Richard Ugbede Ali   +Ifueko Alile +Olusegun Ayoade +Olumide Emmanuel