I know the title of this write up sounds strange and even extremely weird to some people, but don’t blame me. It is a thought that metamorphosis into a question which eventually gave birth to this strangely titled write up. I’ve had situations where shedding tears was the” only way out”, the only way I could express my feeling at such time. I believe that at one time or the other you have had one reason or the other to shed tears or weep as a result of one situation that you are faced with at that particular time. Whatever word you choose (shed tears, cry or weep), it all boils down to the fact that live is not all about laughing or smiling (having fun). You have times when you have shed tears probably because you were overwhelmed by emotion unknowingly or knowingly (which could be pleasant or unpleasant to you).
One of such occasions, where and when you see people shed tears is a burial ceremony or when someone dies. In such situation you often see people both old and young regardless of the gender (male or female) shedding tears uncontrollably. It is however important to state at this point that there are certain advantages associated with the shedding of tears. I would love to share a few of the ’advantages’ associated with the shedding of tears as I proceed.
Emotional Relief: Tears have a way of bringing emotional relieve to the person in question, it helps to express feelings you can’t explain in words hence, the best and suitable way of expressing ones emotion or feeling at such moment is by shedding tears. So when you see people shedding tears know that they haven’t been able to find the suitable grammatical construction (words) at such time to express their or feelings. And burial is just a good example to buttress this view.
However, it is not only at funeral or burial ceremony that you see people shed tears. Someone could also shed tears when he or she experiences disappointment, maybe the person just received a sack letter and he or she is shocked as a result of the sack. When what appears to be the source of livelihood suddenly disappears into the thin air. At the reading of such letter the person’s reaction could be tears rolling down the chicks. Then different thoughts and questions begin to travel through the person’s mind, questions like; “what have I done to deserve this, where do I start from, why me? “And so on.
Moreover, tears are not just meant for sad or unhappy and unpleasant moments. Someone could be shedding tears because he or she is overwhelmed with joy and this is what is often called “the tears of joy”. Take for example someone who was sacked for no just reason and for about 20 years was struggling to keep his family together then suddenly after about 20 years, on a Monday morning while thinking on how to go about the struggle for the week, while still sitting in his expired bed in a one room apartment suddenly, his half-dead phone rings and he reluctantly picked and answered the called and the following words came out of his helpless phone,”…you have been recalled and you are you are to resume immediately and will be receiving all your salaries for the past 20 years apart from your compensation , for been unduly sacked this runs to about 10million dollars…” then after that while still trying to accept it as the truth, a mail deliverer knocks and he opens the door for him, a mail was delivered to him and he opens in haste eager to know what was inside. He opens and inside the mail was; a Cheque, a letter of reappointment and a car key. He falls to his knees and all he could do was, cry like a baby. No word could find expression through his lips and all he could do was cry, hmm, what a tears of joy.
This man’s case is just to influence your thinking about what I am about to share with you as I continue with this article, “what is the definition of your tears”. I said earlier that, a burial is where you often see people cry and shed tears because of the demise of a loved one (as the case seem). However, let me shock you by saying this, “everyone shedding tears are not doing so because they are grieved” what I’m trying to draw your attention to is the fact that you see someone crying because someone dies does not equal mourning.
In a particular city on a Friday morning, the death of a very popular man was announced and everyone was caught unawares by this unfriendly news that has taken over the air. Later in the day, the compound of the deceased was filled with people who had come to pay condolence visits. With tears rolling down their chicks, they try to console one another but they couldn’t just have their way as nature refused to be cheated. The wife could not believe her beloved is no more and the children can’t believe they will remain fatherless for the rest of their lives, what a loss. In the midst of this emotionally overwhelming atmosphere appears a man from nowhere who wasted no time joining in contributing to the grief atmosphere. But something strange happened and that is where this article was birth.
Although, this latest mourner was grieved but it was a surprise and unbelievable to know the reason for his shedding of tears- what an irony of situation. He wept bitterly and to console him became another task(for those he met at the home of the deceased), when they all thought they had succeeded in calming him down suddenly he slammed himself on the ground and was beyond the power of those who tried consoling him. So after crying till his eyes could not supply him the needed water (tears) for the herculean task, he sat at a corner silent and all to himself. Suddenly he screamed at the top of his voice and the words that came from his “mourning mouth” were,”this man has killed me oh… MY MONEY IS GONE!”.Suddenly every tear disappeared (from people’s eyes) and lips were left widely apart. No one could believe what they’ve just heard. From that moment my thinking was redirected, that the reason people cry at a burial or because of another person’s death may not be because of the obvious reason but could be as a result of personal reason which at times is unbelievable.
It was latter that the witnesses got to realize that the deceased before his death had borrowed a sum of money close to 7million Naira from this man who just came into the deceased’s compound to execute a business which unfortunately for him (the deceased) failed and that contributed to his untimely debt because further investigation revealed that he had an accumulated debt close to about 50million. The irony of it is that most of those who came around came because they wanted to confirm the rumor of the deceased death because he (the deceased) owed them also. Sod at the end it became obvious that they were crying because of the money the deceased owed them before his death and even the wife was weeping because the man left nothing behind but debt. At the end of the day the definition of the mourners tears became obvious that they were mourning their uncertainty, the feasibility of recovering their money was very bleak and at that point, this question popped up; “what is the definition of your tears?
