Reviving Our Values System- Our Relationships!

Our circle of influence matter a lot and we cannot afford to take it for granted. The kinds of relationships we keep greatly influence our value system. An African proverb says, “<em>The sheep that mingles with the dogs will surely eat feces”</em>. One way or the other, we learn and absorb some values from our friends and loved ones-knowingly or otherwise.


<strong>Iron sharpens iron</strong>, friends influence one another (positively or negatively). This explains why we need to be mindful of the friends we keep. It may take time, sooner or later- one will surely influence the other. A lot of people have done things against their will because they were influenced by friends.

Making friends at the detriment of our values will often do more harm than good. One very important factor that influences who we relate with is our values system. Although, we may not pay too much attention to this, the truth is that our values most often influence our choice of relationship. But, we have to take advantage of this and get the best out of every relationship. Any relationship is meant to make you a better person.

We all face challenges and during such times, one very important factor that determines how we handle such challenges is the kind of people that make up our circle of influence i.e. our relationship. Like the popular saying, “show me your friend(s), and I will show you who you really are.”

The kind of support you get from people around you will go a long way to determine how you react to challenges. For instance, if you have people who draw inspiration from you and expect a lot from you, you will surely not want to disappoint them. Such people give you extra push, directly or indirectly, they inspire you and make you settle for nothing but the best. They motivate you.

It is very important to make friends that will bring out the best out of you. Your relationship(s) ought to bring the best out of you. Every relationship must add value to you and make you better than you were. This however does not mean you enter into a relationship with someone because of what you want to gain. What you have to offer is also very important. See you at the Top!

www.bamisaye.wordpress.com
Whatsapp: +2348024552797
Like our facebook page: www.facebook.com/DKingzpen
Email: Adexbam2002@yahoo.com
+Faith Oyebade +Gbanawei Jacob 

Friends of Benefit (You)-part 3

This category or part three of a series titled “friends of benefit” focuses on the role an individual has to play i.e. you are supposed to be a friend to yourself. How will you love your friend when you don’t even Love yourself? Whatever you do to others is a reflection of what and who you are to yourself.

At times I feel like throwing in the towel due to challenges, discouragement, unyielding efforts etc. but in as much as I feel like, I refuse to. Instead I give myself some pep talks and see myself spurring on and daring to achieve more. If I fail to motivate myself, it means I don’t love myself and nothing will motivate me.

The truth is, there are no supermen but men with super attitude. Every successful person you see or read about today did not become successful/notable because they did not face any challenge but because they had a healthy attitude towards those trying and challenging periods knowing that - Life is filled with ups and downs.

It begins with you!

Personal motivation is very important for anyone who wants to go far because, motivation from external sources may go on strike at times and you’ll be left On Your Own (OYO). 

The place of personal motivation is very crucial. You have to be self- motivated before you can be motivated i.e. you can’t be motivated by any other person if you are not self-motivated. Whenever, I am down and feel like quitting, I psyche myself up.

“it is what the bird feeds on that helps it to fly”.

What you “feed” on matters a lot. The importance of what you surround yourself with can never be over accentuated- they determine your attitude and reaction towards challenges. What you surround yourself with tells if you are a friend of benefit to yourself or not.

People- Always ensure that those who you mingle with are people who believe in you and can motivate you when you need some motivation. Anyone who does not believe in you may not be able to motivate/inspire you, especially when you need it most. Relational wealth is very important. This is what has helped me/still helping me. Surround yourself with people who will look you in the face and tell you whenever you’re missing it.

Materials- Books, CDs, Seminars and some other resource materials are things you should not joke with if you truly you want to be a friend of benefit to yourself and others. An African proverb says, “it is what the bird feeds on that helps it to fly”. What you have read, watched or listened to could just be what will help you out during that challenging time.

The God factor- Regardless of your belief, I want you to know that there is an INVISIBLE FACTOR that controls the physical.  My favorite book says- the earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof.
Thanks for your time. Please click the link below to read the previous series here= http://dkingzpen.blogspot.com/2013/07/friends-of-benefit-part-1.html

+Lola Akinmade Åkerström +Livingston Obasi +Olumide Emmanuel +Bamisaye Adeniran +Oluwatomisin Idowu +Deolu Akinyemi 

Friends of Benefit II

Click on this link is to read part one  http://dkingzpen.blogspot.com/2013/07/friends-of-benefit-part-1.html
Welcome to the Part 2 :

A friend loves at all time…

As I string these words together, I recall a recent experience with a close “friend”. One of those things… like we say back then, “you aren’t yet friends if you’ve never disagreed/quarreled”. If you’ve never been offended by a friend then watch out cos it could be closer than you think…laughs! In whatever relationship you’re, there is the need for you to come to terms with reality-offences will come!

It takes love and maturity to forgive/overlook offences and continue in any kind of relationship. Many people have been hurt and a lot will still be hurt­-not a curse but the reality of live. The earlier you accept the fact that, no one is perfect, the better for you and your relationship.

The reason hurt exists is to test the strength of that relationship- forgiveness comes first in the dictionary, so practice advance forgiveness. A mother won’t throw away her suckling child for biting her breast while breast feeding him/her, so never because of an offence put an end that relationship, except you are so convinced it CANNOT work again. Forgiveness is an attribute of champion.

Even the hand stringing these words together is not exempted, we need to make things right (never stop forgiving). As I ponder on the word in the above statement again, it suggests to me that-Love in friendship should be a continuous action just like the verb. Friendship is a commitment that demands the energy all the parties involved. Like the common saying, “it takes two to tango”. But you must realize that not all friendship last forever. Let me close with the words of a friend and colleague, Taiwo;

I use to be scared of loosing friends, now I concede, friends are for different seasons. You lose some, you gain some.

But remember, NEVER end any relationship with hurt, please FORGIVE. I care about your happiness.

thanks for your time. to read part three please click http://dkingzpen.blogspot.com/2013/08/friends-of-benefit-you-part-3.html

Friends of Benefit-Part 1

Over the last few weeks, especially on weekends, I have been privileged to hook up with some friends I have not seen in a long time. Owing to different reasons, we have been apart (physically) - after all 20 friends cannot “play” together for 20 years.

We had a lot of things to talk about, recalling those good old days and motivating ourselves to make the future a better one. As the gist went on, we learnt from one-another's mistakes and shortcomings -we shared our experiences and updated ourselves about our various activities.

More importantly, we talked about solutions to the shortcomings we highlighted. 

My dear reader, any kind of relationship that is not adding value to you is not worth sweating over, be it a relationship with the same sex or from the opposite sex. A friend is like an exchange- you exchange ideas, experiences, motivation, knowledge, inspiration etc. even mentors learn from their protégé…in case you don’t know, ask your mentor if you have one.

Take note of the following nuggets about friendship or any kind of relationship:

•   Everyone has something to add to the other. 
•   Everyone is comfortable in one another’s presence. 
•   No one is too big to be corrected 
•   No one is afraid to share his or her success secrets with others.
• We can count on one another’s loyalty even while “blind”
• No (positive) sacrifice is too much to make for one another.
• Everyone’s success or failure is the responsibility of all.

Click on this link is to read part two http://dkingzpen.blogspot.com/2013/08/friends-of-benefit-ii.html

Thanks for reading and stay blessed as you put into practice. Follow us on twitter @Dkingzpen

+gempublications +Muhammed Olanrewaju +usifo john +Olaoluwa Daramola +Adenike Adeyemi +Egedegbe Dorcas +Ileane Smith +Lola Akinmade Åkerström +Laolu Olaoye +Deoye Falade +chiamaka ezeonyebuchi +Rachel Bonnie +bolanle oduekun